On Knowing a Guy
Building relationships with not just your food, but the people who make it possible.
People often laugh when I tell them I have “a guy” for something. Perhaps because it seems so anachronistic, in an age where most things are readily available at the grocery store, but hearing about “an egg lady” or “a milkman” usually elicits a chuckle, a remark about that being “so cool,” and then a declaration that they wouldn’t even know where to start to find one of these “guys.1”
I get it. When you can make a one-stop shop at the supermarket and get a month’s supply of meat, eggs, produce, milk, orange juice, paper towels, Cheetos, laundry detergent, colored pencils, fruit snacks, computer paper, BB guns, slingshot, bicycle, and inflatable pool2, why go through the hassle of trying to round up a dozen or so people to get the same stuff3? And, even if you’re so inclined to round up such a motley crew, where do you even go about finding them?
Being such a guy to have a guy for a lot of things, I figured I’d take a moment this week to answer some of those questions. At the root of it, going through the exercise of finding smaller, more local sources for at least some of your needs helps set you up to live more radically. It shrinks the supply chain and heightens your impact — when you get eggs from a neighbor, you’re keeping your money local and also reducing the footprint required to make your morning omelet. When you get your meat from a local farmer, you’re building a connection with your community and strengthening the bonds around you. When Kiddo wants brownies on a Sunday afternoon and you realize you’re out of eggs, it’s a heck of a lot easier to text your neighbor and ask if she could bring a dozen — likely laid that morning — than it is to hop into the car and drive to Whole Foods4.
The other benefit to a more decentralized shopping experience it is forces you to think more discriminately about what you’re consuming. Just like buying whole animals makes it abundantly clear about what goes into getting to individual cuts — Super Bowl chicken wings require a heck of a lot of chickens! — when you source your groceries from a variety of places you realize the amount of effort that goes into making all that happen. It’s easy to think that food just “shows up” at the grocery store, ready to purchase and then eat — in reality, there are hundreds and thousands of individuals that make that abundance possible. As I’ve written before, I’m in no way advocating for an excommunication of the supermarket — the convenience is real and makes life infinitely easier — but there absolutely is value in knowing who makes the products available.
So with that, here’s a condensed and incomplete list of “guys5” that I have and how I found them6. My hope is that you can use this as an inspiration for expanding your own network. If you manage to find some good ones, please let me know… I’m always looking for more7!
I know a…
Butcher. A few years ago, Mrs. CWD promised me a butchery class at Savenor’s, the butcher shop we frequently when we lived in Boston. For reasons not at all due to her, we never managed to sign up for the class. Last year, though, when I was looking for an at-home butchery class to take with
, I stumbled on Chef Christopher Walker’s website. After a series of emails and texts, we booked Chef Christopher for a class and had a blast. Turns out, Chris is also one of the head butcher’s at Savenor’s — so I ended up getting the class Mrs. CWD promised me in the end anyway. Subsequent to the course, I’ve gotten to know Chris a little better — he’s now my go-to for locally sourced meat that I’m not connected with myself. After I killed a deer last fall, I texted him to see if he would be able to walk me through the process of breaking it down and processing it, and he did, providing me a masterclass in ungulate butchery — plus the use of professional-grade equipment.You don’t need to take a butchery class to build a relationship with your own butcher. You can simply start by talking to whomever is behind the counter, asking what is fresh, what is good, what he or she would recommend. Find a local shop if you can, frequent it, and be a face that the folks there recognize. The relationship will naturally follow suit8.
Egg Lady. When you drive around small towns enough, you’ll inevitably notice an “Fresh Eggs For Sale” sign out in front of someone’s driveway. Right after we moved out of the city, I saw one at one of our neighbors’ houses, advertising for "duck eggs.” I’d grab a dozen or so every time I had cash in the car and saw eggs in the cooler. At one point, we needed eggs and I didn’t have any cash, so I wrote a little “IOU” note and dropped it in the box. When I had cash to pay for the eggs, I figured rather than an impersonal drop-off, I’d ring the doorbell and introduce myself. Now, whenever I need eggs, I can just text Carol and I’m able to guarantee eggs without rolling the dice on someone else getting some first.
You can do the same thing. Take a drive around and look for egg signs9. Grab a dozen and leave a thank you note with your name10. Next time, ring the doorbell and introduce yourself. Next thing you know, you’ll be bringing your kids by for a tour of the henhouse!
Lamb Lady. Turns out my egg lady also raises sheep11 — so I also got a lamb lady out of the egg endeavor. We call that a twofer.
Farmer. I’ve written before about how we frequent Powisset Farm for both a farm share and meat share. I’ve also spent some time volunteering at the farm, helping with spring field prep. On one of those occasions I got to know the head farmer. Now, when I have questions about planting, I can shoot Tim a text and get easy answers. We also bring Doggie CWD over every once and awhile and let her chase geese off the farm fields — so this is a win-win relationship.
Next time you’re at a farmer’s market or farm store, introduce yourself to the farmer (or ask if they’re around). Thank them for the produce and build a relationship. Before you know it, you’ll be volunteering in the field and pestering fowl.
Milkman. We get our milk from a local dairy, Crescent Ridge. Every Monday, Tyler, the milkman, drops off a few bottles of milk and the Kiddos CWD get the biggest kick in the world out of it. “Mommy! Daddy! The Milkman is here!!!” Just seeing their enthusiasm makes it worth it, but we also get the benefit of fresh milk right at our door.
You can keep your eye out for local dairy farms, or use the internet to search for some near you. It’s likely, if they’re big enough, they’ll have their own delivery service, but you can always drive out to the farm and pick it up on your own.
Oyster Guy. Bill, you’re my oyster guy. I can’t suggest how to find your own, except to say you should take every occasion you have to profess your love of bivalves to the people with whom you work — then, hope to get lucky enough that one of them has a brother who lives on the water adjacent to a wild oyster bed.
If that fails, you can always order from Island Creek.
Meat Guy. I’ve written about how I “met” Erik at Pursuit Farms years ago when he gave me his secret pho broth recipe over Instagram. Since then, I’ve ordered most of our very special occasion cuts from him (he’s supplied the last several Christmas Rib Roasts). Whenever I need a truly decadent steak, I text Erik — he never fails to deliver12.
Bison Guy. Perhaps more than any other “guy,” I’ve written about my friendship with Matt over at North Bridger Bison here the most. I’ll just say this about him to end — if you’re looking for the highest quality bison meat in the world, Matt is your guy13. Check out his operation here — and I’m sure if you shoot him a note, he could very easily become your bison guy, too.
Except, apparently, for Reader Jay — who, in response to me texting him a photo of an alligator and pork andouille sausage I saw at a butcher shop (not “my” butcher shop, mind you, but another one), remarked that the price tag was exorbitant and then asked “who is [my] andouille guy?”
We should all aspire to be more like Jay.
Mrs. CWD had never been in a Walmart prior to our extended residence in New Hampshire during the early pandemic months and was amazed at the sheer magnitude of what you can get there. Everything!
Well, maybe not the last couple.
That’s to say nothing of the quality of life and living conditions of the backyard flock vs. the industrially-raised ones you’re getting even from the best suppliers.
Yes, and gals!
I’d be remiss not to thank all of them helping make sure our family eats well nearly every night!
Some other, non-food guys, in no particular order: Roommate CWD, MD, my “medical questions” guy; Reader Kyle, my “hunting” guy; Uncle Steady, my “sourdough and woodworking” guy; Gma CWD, my “plant care” lady; Nana CWD, my “hype man” lady; Auntie CWD, MD, our “does the Warthog have an ear infection?” lady; Reader Alex, my “hey, do you want to take my last-minute spot in this esoteric endurance event” guy; and, of course,
my “should I get goats? should you get goats?” guy.The downside to this, of course, is situations like earlier this week, when I texted Chris to reserve a fresh ham for Easter. He said, yeah, no problem, swing by the shop — he’ll let them know I was coming by and they’d help me out. Naturally, when I make my way down, there is a half pig laying on the butcher table waiting to have my ham excised from it. Me, being myself, couldn’t help but take home not just the 8-pound ham I went in to get, but also the other half of the ham, the full shoulder roast, and the shank and trotters as well.
Essentially, brought home a quarter pig. Whoops.
If you live in a city or more densely populated area which may not have backyard chickens or geese, this may require a drive out “in the sticks.” You will probably want to make a day of this and double up on activities if you have kids.
Backyard eggs are one of the instances where buying from a neighbor is usually cheaper than at the grocery store. I get a dozen duck eggs for $5 dollars. I was at the butcher shop the other day — picking up the pig I referenced earlier — and saw that they were selling four (4) duck eggs for $6. Even buying a dozen chicken eggs at the grocery store is going to set you back at least $5-6
She also teaches herding lessons for dogs — and has blue ribbon winning herding corgis (Auntie CWD, MD’s favorite!). She uses both the ducks and sheep as fodder for her instruction.
Expect an interview with him soon!
Plus he gets bonus points for being a NESCAC guy as well.
This was like a "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" tale!
But truly--if we would all try and create some type of connection with everyone we interact with, it might make us more compassionate, more understanding, more tolerant people. Until you've walked in someone else's shoes....
Loved the Old World charm you write of. Growing up, everyone had the milkman deliver milk and even ice cream in the freezer box at the front door. Then of course came the convenience of the supermarket, and phased out the milkman. I guess what goes around eventually comes around again.
Love you--You are my go-to guy for just about everything.