Is one living authentically if she tells someone she looks great when that person really looks bad?
Or is how someone looks just my own perception, and only my reality, so maybe I’m telling the truth? So then, isn’t it better to “lie” like that to someone, anyone, or especially to someone who say is sick, and needs to be reassured? What about the theory that “the customer is always right”? To be my authentic self I would call a jerk a jerk, not placate him.
To be truly authentic, could I not worry about my looks, or because looks might be important to me, am I being my authentic self by being somewhat manufactured?
Is it ok not to be authentic to spare someone’s feelings or not to hurt someone, like not reprimanding a child who should be reprimanded or holding back your words when you are angry?
I guess there needs to be a line between authenticity of self and courtesy.
I have eaten a lot of processed sugar today, so I think I am becoming radical, though not in the good way. I have gone way off course from the premise of authenticity. I must be showing my authentic true self.
Enough said, except I love you, and accept whoever you are!
1) I believe I heard once, somewhere, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. I think that could apply in your first scenario. Authenticity is not carte blanche to be rude. This would be a case of manners.
2) If you enjoy being made up, by all means make yourself up. But if you're only doing so because you think you have to (and you're not otherwise otherwise countermanding general societal obligation of being somewhat put together), then perhaps you don't really need to do so. Here you should be following etiquette.
3) We're shifting away from general authenticity here, but I think a parent's responsibility to instill a correct set of ethics in there children -- and sometimes this involves reprimanding with a clear explanation of why. The Buddha might ask you to withhold anger -- and in most cases it's probably for the best, anyway -- but I suppose even saints get irritated. One might call this your morals.
(It's how they respond after that matters.)
So yes, perhaps you are getting too radical, but that's okay -- you are nothing if not authentic!
Great writing on an important topic Lou... AND tjalknol! 👏
As to "authenticity", I like the word INTEGRITY. Most people interpret that word as being about having good values. I view it as about being an integrated person where your thoughts and beliefs and emotions and words and behavior are all aligned. With an integrated person, what you see is what you get, so they are credible and trustworthy.
Baird, I love that definition. So true. I also like the association with “integral,” with which integrated shares a root. Something integral is something which is essential to completeness — which is also important for authenticity.
Umm…you weren’t just writing about authentic recipes, right?.
A lot to process this week.
Is one living authentically if she tells someone she looks great when that person really looks bad?
Or is how someone looks just my own perception, and only my reality, so maybe I’m telling the truth? So then, isn’t it better to “lie” like that to someone, anyone, or especially to someone who say is sick, and needs to be reassured? What about the theory that “the customer is always right”? To be my authentic self I would call a jerk a jerk, not placate him.
To be truly authentic, could I not worry about my looks, or because looks might be important to me, am I being my authentic self by being somewhat manufactured?
Is it ok not to be authentic to spare someone’s feelings or not to hurt someone, like not reprimanding a child who should be reprimanded or holding back your words when you are angry?
I guess there needs to be a line between authenticity of self and courtesy.
I have eaten a lot of processed sugar today, so I think I am becoming radical, though not in the good way. I have gone way off course from the premise of authenticity. I must be showing my authentic true self.
Enough said, except I love you, and accept whoever you are!
Some thoughts without reflection:
1) I believe I heard once, somewhere, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. I think that could apply in your first scenario. Authenticity is not carte blanche to be rude. This would be a case of manners.
2) If you enjoy being made up, by all means make yourself up. But if you're only doing so because you think you have to (and you're not otherwise otherwise countermanding general societal obligation of being somewhat put together), then perhaps you don't really need to do so. Here you should be following etiquette.
3) We're shifting away from general authenticity here, but I think a parent's responsibility to instill a correct set of ethics in there children -- and sometimes this involves reprimanding with a clear explanation of why. The Buddha might ask you to withhold anger -- and in most cases it's probably for the best, anyway -- but I suppose even saints get irritated. One might call this your morals.
(It's how they respond after that matters.)
So yes, perhaps you are getting too radical, but that's okay -- you are nothing if not authentic!
Elite footnotes this week.
Ha — thanks! @Sam Sager gave me grief because the footnotes were longer than the actual newsletter!
Honestly, I think your footnotes boost the authenticity factor. I say embrace your inner DFW and let them rip.
Great writing on an important topic Lou... AND tjalknol! 👏
As to "authenticity", I like the word INTEGRITY. Most people interpret that word as being about having good values. I view it as about being an integrated person where your thoughts and beliefs and emotions and words and behavior are all aligned. With an integrated person, what you see is what you get, so they are credible and trustworthy.
Baird, I love that definition. So true. I also like the association with “integral,” with which integrated shares a root. Something integral is something which is essential to completeness — which is also important for authenticity.
Integral. Very good.