“Now What??" + Crisp Coleslaw and Mashed Potatoes

A guest post and two (2!!) recipes from Nana CWD

Though I joke often that I wasn’t ever allowed in the kitchen growing, that’s not strictly true. I spent a lot of time there, watching the remarkable Nana CWD cook. And, she did a lot of cooking — with me being one of three very active boys who ate an awful lot of food¹. Dinners in our house — which she cooked nearly every night — usually looked something like this:

• Eight to ten steaks, some sautéed veggies, and two loaves of bread

• Two to three pounds of pasta, red sauce, and two dozen sausages

• Fifteen chicken thighs, a bag’s worth of cooked rice, and five cans of chickpeas

• A small herd’s worth of lamb chops with a standard-sized garden bed’s worth of green beans and tomatoes

I’m exaggerating, only slightly, but I think you get the idea. My mother cooked and still cooks often, plentifully, and well. Without doubt, she’s a leading influence in the way I think about food — even if she might not think so herself²! I’m distinctly lucky to have her as a mother and to be able to continue to rely on her for advice when cooking a brisket³ or making Hobo Chicken⁴.

As the Family CWD is preparing to head down the Shore for a quick and needed vacation, I asked Nana if she’d be interested in writing up a recipe and newsletter post for me, to take a little pressure of my writing schedule. Because, beyond just cooking, Nana also is a major influence on my writing. In a roundabout way, she’s the reason I majored in English, has always been a willing editor of work⁵, and without doubt, an all-star supporter⁶.

She was kind enough to indulge me — and with that, I’ll turn things over to her. Enjoy — and make sure you read the footnotes!

Nana CWD received the request to “Guest-Spot” a CWD column.  I am quite honored; however also quite intimidated (1) for a number of reasons.

First, I do not know how to include footnotes on my computer—hence the (1) for footnote #1⁷.  Secondly, I rarely follow a recipe, and nothing I ever make comes out the same way twice⁸.  Thirdly, I have no clue how to include photos in my piece, and if I were to be honest, have not really grasped the whole concept of documenting anything with the camera on my phone⁹.  Also, I am a little embarrassed to share just how many unhealthy, unwholesome ingredients I use in my cooking¹⁰.  Lastly, I do not want to disgrace my family who have far surpassed me in culinary skills and repertoire¹¹.  But I do not want to let anyone down, so I will submit two fail-proof recipes that are always good, as well as being my go-to’s when I need to be sure a dish will turn out the way it’s supposed to¹².

I am proud to offer you, loyal CWD readers, Crisp Cole Slaw and Mashed Potatoes.  Not very original, but I promise they will be very tasty, and probably pretty easy compared to what we are normally challenged to replicate from CWD.

1. And I am really never intimidating by anything.

Crisp Cole Slaw

Ingredients:

• 3 lbs. fresh shredded ¹³cabbage

• 1 green bell pepper, diced¹⁴

• 1 red bell pepper, diced

• 2 medium Vidalia onions, diced¹⁵

• 1 ½ cups of sugar

• 1 ¼ cups of vinegar¹⁶

• 1 cup olive oil

• 1 tablespoon salt

• 1 teaspoon celery seed

• ½ teaspoon pepper

Recipe:

Mix sugar with vegetables and chill covered, overnight, if you have time.

Bring the rest of the ingredients to a boil, and pour over vegetables.

Stir and chill some more. Serve.

Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients:

• 9 large baking potatoes¹⁷

• 2 sticks softened butter, salted or unsalted

• 12 ounces room-temperature cream cheese

• ¾ cup sour cream

• 1 teaspoon pepper

• 1 teaspoon salt

Recipe:

Peel potatoes, cut in chunks, boil until soft, drain and beat potatoes¹⁸ in a mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Beat in butter and cream cheese, beat in sour cream, salt, and pepper.

Scrape into a heavily buttered casserole dish.

Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

To cook: Bring to room temperature and heat at 300 degrees Fahrenheit uncovered until hot¹⁹.

I hope these recipes live up to the expectations I intended to set, and when I next take over the Guest-Spot, I will be more prepared and really come up with something that will blow your taste buds. 

Thank you, and enjoy²⁰!

Nana CWD

1. If I didn’t get every recipe I cook from her, I certainly got my idea of what a “normal” serving size looks like!

2. She jokes, in a later footnote, about my use of “farm fresh vegetables,” “organic ingredients,” and other, perhaps ostentatious, ingredients.

I was thinking about this as I transcribed her email into this newsletter. While Nana is certainly not the poster-woman for pretentious ingredients — her reference to “stuff from The Dollar Store” is only half in jest — she always uses the best ingredients she can find. We grew up in rural Florida — the closest things to a farmer’s market for most of my childhood were the folks who set up a stand on the side of the Country Road to sell peaches, strawberries, corn, and peanuts; handmade signs propped up in front of a Walmart tent.

And while we weren’t getting organic, farm-raised beef with every meal — I don’t even think anything organic hit the Publix shelves until well after I graduated high school — we were always getting fresh cut steaks from behind the butcher counter, fresh chicken, pork and lamb chops. In a place where it would be so easy to just get pre-processed and pre-made food for every meal, we almost always ate “real food,” with “real ingredients.” She went out of her way — and still does! — to get specialty ingredients

(Even if it meant going to HomeGoods or TJ Maxx — both of which have a remarkably varied selection!)

In elementary school, I might not have known what an artichoke looked like — and the closest we got to field greens was iceberg lettuce — but I could tell you exactly what a NY Strip looked like and how to cook it (salted, peppered, and broiled til medium rare). We always had high quality balsamic vinegar, great mustard — and without doubt the best licorice. We even went so far as to be shareholders in some calves being raised for the County Fair — making me a very early adopter of the “buy a whole cow” movement — though I’m not sure I ever recall eating a steak that came from those animals. Just a shame that bison aren’t native to Central Florida!

3. Perhaps Roommate CWD, MPP will remember the brisket she prepared when we first moved into Ossipee.

4. Though, to be honest, I’ll probably never make Hobo Chicken (TM).

5. Or, more often, improver.

6. Well, it’s either her, Decline, or Lady — tight race!

7. For ease, I am going to convert the remaining parenthetical references to actual footnotes — don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya!

8. … let alone multiple times.

9. Still learning how to “flip” the phone to take a Selfie.

10. Frozen vegetables not fresh from the farm, sugar, processed foods…stuff from The Dollar Store.

11. Ed. note: You flatter us!

12. Although one time I mistakenly doubled the amount of sugar for the cole slaw, without doubling the rest of the recipe (Ed. note: This sentence ends with a preposition — which I have in writing as something you stated you never do!).

13. Unfortunately I am too impatient to shred, and usually end up just cutting the cabbage in whatever I consider to be “small” pieces.

14. Again, “diced” to me just means “small.”

15. What does “diced” really mean? (Ed. note: Since you keep asking, see here for a primer.)

16. Organic apple cider, citrus champagne, low tannin red wine vinegar, or whatever gets your juices going….I put this quantifier in because I thought it sounded like a “professional” CWD comment.

17. You will have to peel all the potatoes—the most dreaded requirement.

18. Recommend having a spouse or strapping child beat by hand first, and then follow up with a hand mixer once the hard part is over

19. I have no idea how long that is, as I usually put the potatoes in the oven with whatever else might be cooking in the oven and at whatever temperature that may be.  But the “purists” will heat at 300 degrees for maybe an hour or an hour and a half?  I really could not say.

20. And a special thanks to the people I love most in the world, who made it possible for me to be where I am today.  Oh gosh, there are so many people to thank… I should have written this all down… but here goes.  (And if I’ve forgotten you, I am so sorry.  This is all so intimidating.)  I am what I am today because of you:  Son CWD, Mrs. CWD, Son #2 (not literally) and Wife of Son #2, Son #3 (not literally) and Wife of Son #3, Grandfather CWD (the love of my life and the one responsible for all my diamonds—literally and figuratively), Grandchildren born and unborn, Grand fur babies and personal fur babies, Grammy CWD (Best Mom Ever!), Aunt Robin CWD and Top-Rated Berks County Attorney Husband…

Oh—I know there are so many people I am forgetting—nephews, nieces, cousins, brothers-and-sisters-in-law, friends, Romans, Countrymen, friends of friends, relatives of friends, friends of relatives… the list goes on.  Here’s to running barefoot on the beach, jumping into 59 degree lake water, drinking lots of water, not wearing a coat… all the crazy things I’ve been meaning to try, and so should you.