Reflections on Community + Roasted Salad with Steak
Reflections on a bachelor party, Southern comfort, and a spring salad.
First, a congratulations: Roommate CWD, M.D., is getting married this weekend. Mrs. CWD and I are down South attending the festivities, reveling in he and his bride’s good fortune, hoping to find chocolate chip cookies in our hotel room when we check-in.
A few weeks ago, I was in New Orleans for his bachelor party1. Amidst navigating the debauchery of Bourbon Street2, eating my weight in Gulf oysters, and contemplating the purchase of a haunted house, we cruised around the Louisiana Bayou on a boat tour.
I love being on the water, even more so when the sole purpose of the occasion is to enjoy being on the water. I love taking in the environment, identifying birds, watching fish jump, keeping an eye out for large wildlife3. There’s a reason the cliche goes, “a bad day on the water is better than a good day in the office.” Though I would have loved to have had a fishing rod in hand4, it was a terrifically pleasant way to spend a morning5.
Our captain, Captain Barry, was a dyed-in-the-wool Louisianan, the flowing accent, the grace behind the wheel, bald… striking6. As we were meandering through back channels and backwaters, I noticed Barry scanning the banks, looking for something. Since I was doing much the same, I went over to confirm my suspicion — that he was looking for alligators. Turns out, he was – and we quickly thereafter spotted one7. As we were cruising back to port, I started talking with Cap’n Barry, discussing the differences between bachelor and bachelorette parties, between morning and afternoon tours, between Northerners and Southerners.
This is always such an interesting conversation for me, since I’ve lived in both worlds8. I grew up in rural Florida — an environment more akin to Boston, GA than Boston, MA. But, I’ve been in Boston (the latter) since college. I feel like I’ve got a pretty good grasp on both sides of the equation. Neither is better, neither is worse — there’s just a different outlook on life. Barry, for his part, described it like this: In the South, people are generally more relaxed, more easy going, more friendly. In the North, people are more intense, more driven, more internally focused.
After the pleasantries were out of the way, we talked about food.
Whether or not he’s right or wrong about personality types, one thing we both agreed upon is that food, for the most part, is way better in the South9. I’ll be the first to admit that there are some terrific meals in traditional New England cuisine10 — I’ll live and die by lobster rolls, by cider donuts, by blueberry pies — it’s hard to argue that any of them can beat a good Southern meal. You’ve got biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits, most types of barbeque, cornbread, collard greens. You’ve got gumbo.
Barry and I talked a lot about gumbo during the cruise. A lot about roux. We talked about what color you want to let your roux get to, how long it takes to get there11. What to add to your gumbo. Do you use okra? Shrimp? Fish? Sausage? Poultry? Can you mix and match? Do you add a tomato base? Serve it with rice or with potato salad? Do you put it on top or below?
What I learned is that there is no consensus. The right way is however your grandmother made it, and that’s that.
But what I also learned is that food is such a wonderful way to bring people together. I’m sure we could have had a perfectly pleasant conversation about any number of topics, but almost immediately, we started talking about food.
“What’s the deal with New England clam chowder?” Barry asked me, after learning I was from Boston. “Can you tell me what’s in it?”
Anyone who asks that question within 10 minutes of meeting me is my kinda person. We went through how to make it — can you believe Barry has never had a clam? — how it’s different from fish stew, from gumbo, from Southern shellfish soups. He gave me some advice on making white beans and ham from the last time he did it — skip the ham and use fresh Gulf shrimp — and I told him about littleneck clams and using clam juice in my fish stew. We agreed that the best way to get shrimp is head and shell on, so you can use those for a shrimp stock. We obviously concurred that Gulf shrimp are the best.
Food — more than sports, more than music, more than politics12 — is the great common denominator13. It doesn’t matter if you like to cook, or even know how to cook — almost everyone likes to eat. Next time you’re at a new place, struggling for small talk, ask someone what the last, best thing they’ve eaten is. I bet the ensuing conversation will be rip roaring. In a time when it seems so easy to focus on what drives people apart, let’s instead focus on getting people to come together around the dinner table14.
With that in mind, let’s make the ultimate dinner party meal — a salad. This one is a riff on Josh McFadden’s “grilled carrots, steak, and red onion" salad and is exceptionally easy to pull together. Now I realize this isn't inspired by the South at all, but we served it last weekend with Mrs. CWD’s aunt and uncle and it was the subject of conversation for the entire night!1516
Roughly chop several carrots and an onion or two, place in a roasting pan, and toss with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Place in a hot oven and roast until tender and slightly charred, stirring occasionally17.
Meanwhile, cook a steak however you like. We prefer reverse seared. When done, let it rest while you mix together some fish sauce, soy sauce, lime juice, olive oil, and tons of chopped garlic.
Slice the meat thinly, dump it along with some mixed greens into a bowl with the roasted veggies, and then dress to your liking, tossing vigorously.
Serve with some warm buttered bread if you have it.
So there you go. Roasted salad18. You can get super creative with this one, swapping the roasted veggies as you have available. We used carrots and onions, but broccoli would be great, as would sweet potatoes, summer squash, zucchini, or radishes. Use what looks good — and tastes good.
As a parting note, CWD surpassed 100 subscribers last week. Exciting stuff for me, since I had zero expectations for writing this when I started almost two years ago19. I told myself when I hit that milestone, I would turn on a paid subscriber option. If you're so inclined, feel free to become a paying subscriber. This will give you access to everything you currently get for free, as well as a warm and fuzzy feeling knowing you're helping to subsidize my CSA membership. What's not to love about that20!
I’ll leave you there for the weekend. Drink a little water and plant some seeds.
Don’t worry, Mrs. CWD, it was much tamer than you’d imagine.
Meaning, avoiding. I’m getting old.
I’m pretty sure I saw a dolphin early on, but hard to tell without binoculars.
Sorry, Jared – though Cpt. Barry did tell me we’d likely only be hooking onto bass or catfish.
Non-reader, non-dad advice respondent, Brian, even went so far as to track the trek on Strava – ostensibly this was a “peddle boat” tour – and clocked in a 5K!
For our benefit, and to clarify where exactly we were, he started the tour off with Lonely Island’s “I’m on a Boat!” For his own amusement, he followed that up with “Thunderstruck” and strongly suggested we play the associated drinking game – which, as you all know, is exactly how I like to start my Saturday mornings.
The gator’s name was Gary, apparently, and I’m not even going to brag that I was the first to spot it. (Since, as Mrs. CWD knows, I happen to be an exceptional spotter of wildlife, as evidenced by my performances in Botswana, South Africa, and Yellowstone.)
Thinking about it, I’m at the point where I’ve spent just about exactly half of my life living below the Mason-Dixon line and half above it. Kind of wild, huh?
We ate terrifically over the course of the weekend, but Mrs. CWD and I still need to go back to eat our way through the Big Easy — since that’s the bulk of what we do when we visit a new place.
At that’s to say nothing about the mid-Atlantic’s crab culture!
I showed him the roux from the last time I made gumbo, he remarked he likes it a little darker, more of a walnut color.
Obviously!
Much like pickleball, which is a post for another day.
I’ve written about this before, actually, inspired by a conversation around oysters with my father-in-law.
Only maybe a little bit of an exaggeration.
This recipe, for the record, could not be simpler.
This is probably 30-45 minutes.
As many of you know, I wrote for the first year without telling essentially anyone. Just shouting at clouds.
Founding subscribers will also get exclusive first access to some CWD swag I’m planning. Just imagine how cool you’ll this summer with a camo CWD hat! You’ll be the talk of the farmer’s market!
Hot Salads for the win. that's a beautiful meal. also important to note that salads taste at least 47% better when eaten directly out of a large wooden bowl. its science!
Is it?